Drowned.

I wonder when did life start to go south.

In the midst of non stop lab reports, discussions, paper works and assignments, not to mention all due dates are just next to one another, I manage to scrap some time off to put my thoughts by swirling my fingers on this keyboard. It seem just yesterday I wished boarding school finish as soon as it started but now I'm wishing it to be rewinded back. If only I knew how easy I had it back in school, I wouldn't wish for time to be faster at the moments in doesn't seem so. If only. I think that's my life motto. Keep looking what's behind instead running toward what's at the end of the tunnel. I feel like it's crazy how the motion of life moving so fast, so vast I keep stumbling my way through the busy crowd. It feels like my insignificant existence become too much for me to bear. To know that life doesn't wait for you, hell, time doesn't wait for anyone.

Anyway I feel like a little bit depressed how university life made everything seem so complicated that I just want to give up and run away. I want to run away where my wildest dream alive and my faithful hope sore. I want to go to the place where beaches of serenity and waves of peace meet my shore. I just want to run away from all the things that give me reasons in the first place.

And the more I sit here, the more I lay down on bed with my thoughts drifting away from the fuzziness I see, from the buzz I heard, I'm letting myself drown into the depth of motionless state. Hoping maybe pretending I don't feel anything would give me the chance to actually don't.